Hello and welcome! Take a seat – enjoy.

Lockdown – oh how much I hate you. It’s been two months since I last saw someone my age, which is slowly but surely driving me insane. But to be honest, the last two months haven’t been a complete nightmare. Although I’ve been stuck at home like nearly everyone else on this planet, I did find some ways to entertain or keep myself busy. 

1. Mandalas

Most of you probably already know that I tend to draw Mandals on everything I can get my hands on. My “tiny” obsession actually started about five or six years ago (so yes it’s been quite a while). What the public doesn’t know is that I use Mandalas to slow down my sometimes never-ending racing mind. For me, this kind of drawing is an outlet for relaxation and meditation. So whenever I feel anxious or uncertain about this situation, I grab a pen and some paper and let it all go. 

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2. Clothes

The other day I went through my entire wardrobe trying to figure out what I want to keep and what I want to give away or sell. (it’s a great way to kill a day or two) If you’ve known me for a while, you’d say “her wardrobe is 95% black”. Well, the tables have turned (slightly). As you might have seen on my Instagram, I’m just obsessed with orange lately. From orange jackets, tops, jumpers, shoes and pants I’ve got it all. At the end of the day, all I’m trying to say is that my wardrobe consists of 50% black and 50% colour now. A round of applause for me. 

3. Youtube

Obviously, we’re all trying to keep ourselves occupied, entertained and educated. So right after Netflix, my first choice is YouTube. There are two channels I can only recommend.

“Soft white underbelly” is an American Interview Channel. (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCvcd0FYi58LwyTQP9LITpA)Mark Laita is questioning people about their lives in Los Angels. Instead of chatting about the glamorous Hollywood life, he interviews Gang members, Prostitutes, Pimps and Drug addicts. You’ll definitely get goosebumps listening to some of these stories. 

The other channel is for my German-speaking readers – “Leeroy wills wissen” (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDW1yldFKWrfjrr78aP5Nkw) It’s also an interview channel but this time about all sorts of people. For instance a girl with four parents, another girl who can taste colours and people who lived through traumatic experiences. By the way this one is also available on Spotify as a Podcast. (https://open.spotify.com/show/4s7nwkDqLrMPmOdj9Un7BX?si=P0HfvYgxSUqSOfebtSmsmg)

10/10 would recommend.

4. Walks

Since I moved here, I barely explored the area I live in; I was too busy exploring the more popular areas of London. So over the last eight weeks, I tried to discover some hidden gems around Lewisham. I did find some pretty cool graffitis and some great spots to admire the beautiful skyline of London.

5. Life after au pairing

Over the last several weeks, I was hunting for a room in London as I’m going to move out of my host family’s house pretty soon. Yes, my Au Pair experience is coming to an end, and it feels exactly how people say. A side of me is crying and heartbroken while the other one couldn’t be more excited. Also looking for a new job during this pandemic is no fun. Nevertheless, I did find a great room on “SpareRoom” (https://www.spareroom.co.uk/), and I’m really looking forward to moving in in a few weeks. 

Okay to be honest this post was just me rambling about random stuff I did over the last two months I hope you still enjoyed it at least a little bit (LOL).

see you next time

anita

March 11 2019 – March 11 2020
when a dream becomes reality, your whole life changes

Hello and welcome! Take a seat – enjoy.

Welcome back – it’s been a while. I hope everyone is good and healthy. Just a little warning this post is a bit cheesy and filled with emotions. Basically, I’m explaining how I changed over the past year living in London.

I wanted to move to London since I was about 13 years old. People around me could clearly tell how in love I was and am with this city. Friends and family knew that I was going to move to London at one point. I remember distinctly how I was sitting in Hyde Park with two of my friends in July 2018 and how they told me that they can see me living here and that it would be sooner rather than later. (getting somewhat teary-eyed right now) Who knew I would actually do it eight months later. Hopefully, most of you feel home in your “home countries” – I didn’t. I felt “at home” because of my family and friends not because Austria made me feel “welcome”. London makes me feel at home, and it has from my first ever visit. Let me tell you a little story.

2018 wasn’t my year it was filled with more downs than ups. I was constantly stressed, slightly depressed and just felt like I was in the wrong place. The questions “Who am I?” and “What am I supposed to do?” didn’t leave my mind till December(ish) the same year. Precisely around the time I dropped out of Uni and decided to move to London. The new plan was to find a host family, work as an Au Pair and figure out what I aspire to do – basically taking a delayed gap year. It felt like there was a weight lifted off my shoulders. Even my friends reacted somewhat relieved – they knew I needed this; that I had to be “selfish” for once. Do what’s best for me mentally, emotionally and physically. I’m so appreciative for all the support I got – I couldn’t be more thankful. The amount of love I have for my friends back in Austria is unexplainable. (I’m sorry that I don’t text back faster lol). A special thanks to my Mom. She’s always been supportive, although I tend to change my mind quickly. Of course, a big thank you to my Dad, who has never questioned my decisions and continues to put his full trust in me. Also, thanks to my Grandma who’s always on my side and never fails to make me smile.

From the age of 14 to 18/19 without realising, I changed my behaviour according to the people around me. Dressed similar to them, started talking like them and so on and on. I was (still am) growing up so to a certain amount, it was normal. Nevertheless, I completely stopped “copying and adjusting” the moment my plane landed. It was a fresh start, so the perfect time to show my “true colours” – my true self. Sometimes a restart is crucial to leave unnecessary bullsh*t behind.
So much has happened over the last year so many great memories so many amazing new friends. I got back into all sorts of creative arts – from drawing to editing to “singing” and duh writing. There is no time in my life where I didn’t write down how I felt. Never in the style of a diary though. The amount of poems I have hidden somewhere in the back of my desk is ridiculous. Yes, surprise, she writes poetry. London has thrown opportunities at me, which included all my favourite arts which I’m beyond grateful for. The fact that I was able to dive deeper into all my hobbies during this time leaves me speechless. The last 12 months have been filled with ups and minimal downs. My mindset has switched from slightly negative to positive – feels like I’m finally breathing fresh, clean air (rather funny as the London air is so polluted).
A couple of the best moments include friends (new and old) telling me how they can sense how happy and confident I have become. So beautiful that people around me can recognise that moving to London has been the best decision I could have possibly made. I lost touch with a couple of people since my “big move”; however, it also strengthened other friendships. To certain friends I feel closer now, although hundreds of miles are separating us (I know I’m cheesy).
This past year wouldn’t have been the same without my “cheeky stalkers”, “sombrero queen”, “wifey” and so many other wonderful people. Each one of you has had a significant impact on me and made London feel even more like home. Thank you.

London brought out the real me. It gave me the courage to be myself, unapologetically. Every soul I met here made me either more self-confident or self-aware. Every person and everything that happened has been a lesson to me this past year. Although, off days have been rare every day was a “me” day. I focused on myself like never before. I distanced myself from characters that gave me a bad feeling immediately and pulled people with radiating energy closer. Overall I can proudly say that I’m a better person today than I was a year ago. I’m in a better place mentally, emotionally and physically. It’s thanks to London, which made me feel homely and comfortable from day one. Thanks to London, I’m meeting people from all around the world with the same mindset as me.

The biggest lesson I learnt was if you don’t feel comfortable or secure in your environment change it. Discomfort will hinder you from being the best version of yourself. It’s your life so please take it in your own hands. Please don’t wait for anyone to cheer you up (it’s not going to happen).

My London journey just started, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me: one year down and many more to go.

see you next time

anita

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