ANITA

Hello and welcome! Take a seat – enjoy. Grab a cup of coffee or a glass of champagne on this rainy Friday in London.

Body image and self love are relatively controversial topics, therefore maybe not the best topics for a new blogger. But they’ve been on my mind quite often the last few days so why not start with a “BANG”. These topics are going to be a series otherwise this post would be way too long. Today I’m just going to write about my experience.

Just like a lot of other girls I grew up not caring about how I looked like till I hit those teenage years. I was never a “skinny” girl – I never looked like the other “pretty” girls. I’m short that’s a known fact so besides wanting to be skinnier I wanted to be taller. I was chubby, I still am but nowadays people call it “thicc” for some reason.

Thankfully, my weight was never really unhealthy – at least not for my body my mind, on the other hand, struggled a bit. At the time thigh gaps and bikini bridges were trendy and not curves. I was far away from both ideals so I got mildly “depressed”. I rarely left my house anymore because of my confidence simply being non existent. After a while, my confidence slowly but surely came back as the trend of thigh gaps started to move in the background. All of a sudden the Kardashians were in the spotlight with all their curves. 

To be honest from then on I didn’t have the urge anymore to look like any of these trends or body ideals. Took me some time to realise that I don’t have to look the exact way as the woman on the cover page of some random magazine. It was probably around the time I turned 16 when I started to fall in love with every inch and pound of mine. I wasn’t exercising to change my appearance. I kept moving so I would stay healthy. #healthyisthenewsexy

I’m not perfect & I’m not trying to be which is exactly why I’m so incredibly happy

When I stepped on the scale again in March 2019 after probably years I was shocked. People in my life told me I looked “healthier” and like I lost a bit of weight and to be honest I thought the same. As it turned out I gained around ten pounds. Although I knew that muscles way more than fat I was upset and sad for a whole day. What a waste of time. Sounds silly but numbers can be scary and frustrating but at the end of the day they don’t define who you are or who I am. It’s just a number – nothing to be afraid of. It’s like a mantra you have to say it loads of times till you start believing it.

Right now I feel great in my body and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I “exercise” nearly every day in order to stay healthy and happy. In no shape or form do I reflect a trendy figure but to be brutally honest I couldn’t care less. 

To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about knowing and accepting who you are.

Ellen Degeneres

“Grown-ups” and “Books about puberty,” said “it will get better once you’re older” and for once they were right. 

Hope you enjoyed this first part at least a tiny bit.

see you next time

anita